I have touched upon this before but the other half of having cancer, or any ailment, is the impact on the patient's partner or spouse. Somehow that gets skipped. The spouse sometimes becomes the silent partner without support in a cancer journey.
I know dozens of people with cancer and other ailments - either in person or online - and each handle it differently.
Since we got married eight years ago, I have had five surgeries, numerous procedures, and other medical adventures and been diagnosed with breast cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, and fibromyalgia as well as degenerating disks, gall stones, and I can't remember everything else.
My husband comes with me on all important doctor appointments - he is allowed to see everything but a pelvic exam and the scale when it shows my weight. (The first has never been an issue and the second he is always told to turn away or close his eyes and the nurses write it down without saying a thing.)
I wanted him at the 'bad' appointments because I wanted support from him and also felt that he should be involved as they were going to have a lot of impact on our lives so he should be able to hear whats going on and ask his own questions.
Even now that my doctor appointments are not dealing with cancer treatment, I still call him immediately after every one to share any news about my health.
When he had his own cancer issues a few years ago, I went with him on all his appointments to hear what the doctor has to say and make sure his questions got answered. I needed to be involved so I could support him as best I could.
But then I have friends who go to all their cancer appointments by themselves and chose not to involve any family members in their treatment. I have friends who drove themselves to all their chemo infusions. I always needed a nap after mine and wasn't sure I could drive myself home.
I know there is a line between sucking up all their time and no one wants to go to as many doctor appointments as I have (a minimum of 50/year - really) but sometimes I think you need the support.
Studies have shown that husbands feel isolated when their wives have breast cancer - they don't get the support they need. A cancer diagnosis is not a one person adventure, it involves the patients family as well.
Doctors are happy to include spouses in medical discussions. I think a spouse who is involved will feel less isolation as they become part of the cancer journey as opposed to a bystander.
Showing posts with label cancer support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label cancer support. Show all posts
The big pink wall
Whoop-de-doo, Ford Motors just announced its Warriors in Pink 2013 program. Now you must get excited. You can buy pink appaarel from their program and a portion of the sale of each garment, $5-$20, goes to one of four charities and you get to choose which. Komen, Young Survivors Coalition. Dr Susan Love Research Foundation or the Pink Fund. Isn't this just so great. You get to buy pink gear, I must need some more! I'll check my closet and get on line now.
This is just like Pinktober again isn't it? While I admire the Ford Motor company for thinking right, they could have done it without the pink.
A recent study points out that metastatic breast cancer patients often feel disenfranchised with the pretty pink ribbon ideology. The pink mentality is positive and shows all these happy women, dressed from head to toe in pink, saying pink, pink, pink. They form little clans for each woman with breast cancer and applaud each year out from treatment or each anniversary of their passing.
I think when breast cancer is happy - they are in treatment, they are so brave when they shaved their head, their surgery went well - its all pink and pretty.
But when the diagnosis and prognosis are not so good, the big pink wall goes up to protect the pink dressed supporters from the bad news. Its not as pretty picture any more. The pink people don't want to hang out with someone who isn't rah rah breast cancer any more. They want to move on to someone who is happy and smiling.
The study did also say that 45% of the metastatic patients developed their own circle to share information to help others. But still the metastatic patient loses the original support they had when they need it most. Support does not have to be pink but just needs to be.
This is just like Pinktober again isn't it? While I admire the Ford Motor company for thinking right, they could have done it without the pink.
A recent study points out that metastatic breast cancer patients often feel disenfranchised with the pretty pink ribbon ideology. The pink mentality is positive and shows all these happy women, dressed from head to toe in pink, saying pink, pink, pink. They form little clans for each woman with breast cancer and applaud each year out from treatment or each anniversary of their passing.
I think when breast cancer is happy - they are in treatment, they are so brave when they shaved their head, their surgery went well - its all pink and pretty.
But when the diagnosis and prognosis are not so good, the big pink wall goes up to protect the pink dressed supporters from the bad news. Its not as pretty picture any more. The pink people don't want to hang out with someone who isn't rah rah breast cancer any more. They want to move on to someone who is happy and smiling.
The study did also say that 45% of the metastatic patients developed their own circle to share information to help others. But still the metastatic patient loses the original support they had when they need it most. Support does not have to be pink but just needs to be.
Relay for life honor those who have had cancer
Have you ever looked at the cancer walks/rides/races and thought
If you have had cancer, you can participate by attending and walking an honorary lap and have a delicious meal. And its free. At the very least you get to meet people in your community who are coping with the same things you are.
For anyone, you can fund raise and join a group to walk laps for twenty four hours to honor those with cancer. This is open to anyone. Boy and girl scout troops do it, high school students do it for their community service hours, church groups do it. You don't walk the entire time, you walk when you can and then take breaks. There is food, snacks, games, prizes, and more.
I used to be involved with the local Relay For Life until my health issues made it impossible for me.
Relay for Life is the American Cancer Society's signature fundraising event. We know what they do and they do use their funds as they claim (with out pink).
To find or join your local Relay visit www.relayforlife.org. Now I am going to donate to two friends who have been participating in Relay for a long time.
[Note I am not pitching for the ACS but think that its a great thing anyone can do.]
- There is no way I could raise that much money
- I physically can't do that
- I think all that pink stuff is just awful
- Honestly I'm lazy and not up for that
If you have had cancer, you can participate by attending and walking an honorary lap and have a delicious meal. And its free. At the very least you get to meet people in your community who are coping with the same things you are.
For anyone, you can fund raise and join a group to walk laps for twenty four hours to honor those with cancer. This is open to anyone. Boy and girl scout troops do it, high school students do it for their community service hours, church groups do it. You don't walk the entire time, you walk when you can and then take breaks. There is food, snacks, games, prizes, and more.
I used to be involved with the local Relay For Life until my health issues made it impossible for me.
Relay for Life is the American Cancer Society's signature fundraising event. We know what they do and they do use their funds as they claim (with out pink).
To find or join your local Relay visit www.relayforlife.org. Now I am going to donate to two friends who have been participating in Relay for a long time.
[Note I am not pitching for the ACS but think that its a great thing anyone can do.]
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