Am I supposed to be stressed?

I am really not stressed about my big needle adventure this morning. Am I supposed to be? I am very much looking forward to pain relief. I hate/dislike needles themselves.

But I have been through this procedure three times already so I  know what is expected. I have had probably six or seven other back injections as well. The last time I was there, the nurses all thought they knew me.

Well I will enjoy not being stressed. I am hungry of course but will have to wait to eat - no solid food after midnight.  And I could use some water - no liquids for two hours prior to arrival.

Upon my return, I will take a nap with an ice pack (and a cat who likes to snuggle). If/when I wake up, I might:

• fold some laundry.
• convince my husband its his turn to make dinner
• prepare for a meeting I am having here tomorrow (which means I need to tidy the dining room).
• And possibly go to the bookstore with my husband.

Of all those, my husband cooking dinner would be nice but tidying the dining room and living room before my meeting is important. I should probably also even look at my notes.

Damn, that meeting could stress me  out if I'm not careful.

Its Day 1

I am so excited! I am so looking forward to having needles stuck in my spine - you wouldn't believe!

This is what the procedure will be like. No beverages or food after midnight, clear liquids till two hours before arrival. We arrive at 815 am, check in, change in to the LOVELY gown (ugly so no one steals them), vitals checked, and IV started.

Eventually I will end up in the procedure room where I will lie on my stomach, they will crank up the IV and I will mostly be asleep. They will stick me six times in the spine with some kind of local anesthetic. Then they will stick in six heated needles in the same place (between the vertebrae) that will kill off the nerves (good bye evil nerves). I will wake up and have some local pain - an ice pack usually does nicely.

I will nap for a while to recover from the anesthesia and convince my husband to cook dinner. I may need pain pills and ice but it should be okay. After a day or two the area where they stuck all the needles will stop hurting locally. More importantly by Thursday am my overwhelming back pain should be 80-90% relieved. That is why I am so excited.

I hate needles, IVs, things that might cause a 'pinch' and all sorts of fun procedures. But this is one which will immediately improve my life. One day, one hour, and 11 minutes til we check in. I can't wait.

However this isn't to say, the nerves won't grow back and I'll have to go through this again.

Count down day 4

I have been pretty miserable these past few days. My pain meds are my friends. I take them everywhere. I wake up hurting. I hate my back. It might even be making me a touch cranky. Everything I do makes my back hurt.

Therefore I have a plan.

If everything I do makes my back hurt, I might as well skip the things I dislike (laundry, cleaning the kitchen, etc) and do the things I like (going to the beach). I mean if I end up in the same boat either way, I might as well have fun before I end up in pain.

Today we are going to the beach. Low tide is 430 or so. We will go around 1, get there a little before 2, leave around 530 or so and have clams for dinner. Not the healthiest and definitely not on the diet (but dinner last night was a yogurt) but I am pretty limited in what I can do so I might as well enjoy myself.

But only four days to go.

Tomoroow, a/k/a count down day 3, will be errand and laundry day - chance of rain so why not. I might even go to the gym. And take my pain pills.

Monday, a/k/a count down day 2, I will work 8-2 and take my pain pills.

Tuesday, a/k/a count down day 1, I will also work 8-2. I should also get a phone call telling me what time to arrive at the hospital - currently around 830 am. No food or liquids after midnight. But I will still take my pain pills with a sip of water.

Wednesday is THE day. If all goes as scheduled, we will arrive around 830, check in, change into a lovely gown (I was told they are ugly so no one will steal them), and see my old friends - the nurses in the day clinic. (Every time I go there, they all look at me and ask me if I work at the hospital or if they know me from some place else.)

I will get an IV, take a nap due to sedation (best kind of procedure - I can sleep through it), and wake up as the newer and improved less painful back. Well there will be localized pain where all the needles go in but after it should be MUCH better.

So I will suck it up for the next four days. (I'm so good at that - ask my husband....)

Maybe next weekend I will feel better enough to go to the beach again without my bottle of pain meds.

Blah, blah, blah - with your medical history we have to be sure

Yesterday I had my annual physical. Or Woman Wellness Exam or whatever the correct term is for it these days.

It did start off interestingly while I was waiting to check in at the desk, there was a woman who was being told she can't call the doctor's office every day making demands, should go back to her psychiatrist, and perhaps become an inpatient at a psychiatric facility. We'll just say that I was very happy that was not me. My health/mental stability is not that bad.

My primary care, who I like, just had a baby and is out for the summer on maternity leave so I met with her nurse practitioner who was one I had not met before. She was very nice and very thorough in her questioning after she let me go through my list of questions. We talked about my ganglion cyst which makes my wrist hurt, we talked about my arthritis, we talked about back pain, car accident, back procedures, previous surgeries, my general health, how much I exercise, and more. Then she examined me and thought I was pretty normal (wow!).

I left with two to-do items - one is a cholesterol blood test which can be done the next time I have blood work done - every two months for rheumatoid, every six months for thyroid - so whenever the next one rolls around.

The other is a much bigger test (where I might feel a 'little pinch') that she wants done in the next two weeks. I can understand wanting the test but I didn't realize she considered it to be more urgent. That part I don't like. I'm not looking forward to the test itself but really dislike it when I have tests which must be done right away.

Grrr.... All the little 'what if' voices in your head start to kick in when I have 'urgent' tests.

It is scheduled for July 5 - which is fine because we had no plans to go away for the weekend - which is 2 1/2 weeks. I have no idea why it is so urgent. But of course I get to stress about it. I will take my avoidance mode until then and discuss it in more detail when I feel like it.

Count Down - Day 9

I am day 9 of my count until the day of nasty needles. I can't wait. that tells you how much pain I have been in if I can't wait to be sedated and stuck with  numerous needles into my spine.

I am on am opiate pain patch that provides 10 mcg/hr of pain meds. That works wonders but its not enough these days. I also have another prescription pain pill which I can take up to two every six hours with  no more than 8 tablets in a 24 hour period.

I used to take one every 6-8 hours. Now I take one every six hours. Yesterday afternoon I took a second one two hours after the first one because it wasn't making a dent even though I also had an ice pack. Two pills have a tendency to make me stupid(er), something I try to avoid at all costs so I rarely, if ever take a second one.

I just could not get comfortable and wasn't able to stand for more than a couple of minutes. I started cooking dinner in two minute intervals - go to the kitchen and rinse the spinach and leave. Then back to the kitchen to put out spices and make marinade for salmon (garlic, mustard, maple syrup) and leave.

Then I got brilliant and set everything up and delegated to my husband that he could empty the dishwasher and cook dinner because it wasn't happening for me. It was very difficult to get comfortable last night so I could sleep as well.

This week I am taking it easy. Exercise every other day at most. I will work for six hours today (if I can) and then come home and put my feet up and do whatever it takes to get comfortable. Which may be a fat lot of nothing but whatever it takes I will do it.

Count down

I am on day 16 of my countdown until my next back procedure where they will sedate me and stick nasty needles in my back and kill off the evil nerves which cause such pain. My back has gotten worse and worse over recent weeks causing me to decline fun events.

I am managing my resources so I can get through my work week. Last week I called in sick and to make up for it, I am working four days this week - which will be a stretch for me. It is my goal but I might not make it.

This weekend I had to decline offers for fun events and stay home to rest my back. Not fun but I did get some gardening in. Only 16 days to go.