Wednesday I had my back procedure. Thursday my back hurt less. Friday I started to feel like crap but got a manicure/pedicure in the afternoon to make me feel normal.
Saturday I started feeling pretty bad and took my temperature which topped out at 101.6 at 2am this morning. I couldn't talk and my husband had to screen my phone calls and tell people to email me instead. I feel like all I have done in the past four days is lie around and take drugs - pain meds, cold meds, and tylenol. I have also eaten chocolate chunk chocolate ice cream for its healing properties.
I woke up this morning and my temperature was 98.8 so I think I have mostly recovered. I am finally beginning to think I might survive. I am not going to work tomorrow so I can continue to recover.
But my back doesn't really hurt much any more.
Personally I think that if you have had cancer you should be exempt from the common cold.
Back update
After my lovely adventure Wednesday morning where I definitely felt a few pinches, my back is doing better. After I came home, I took a nap to sleep off the anesthesia. I iced my back all afternoon and on Thursday as well as took pain meds. Yesterday I had less of a need of ice and pain meds.
So far this morning, my back feels okay but I have a nasty cold and am spending the day in bed. But my back doesn't hurt.
I was up until 1230 and then up again at 5 so I am a bit tired as well.
I am optimistic that it will feel better for a year or more. I just have to get over my cold to appreciate it more.
My brain is not working well enough to blog more today. I think I need a nap.
So far this morning, my back feels okay but I have a nasty cold and am spending the day in bed. But my back doesn't hurt.
I was up until 1230 and then up again at 5 so I am a bit tired as well.
I am optimistic that it will feel better for a year or more. I just have to get over my cold to appreciate it more.
My brain is not working well enough to blog more today. I think I need a nap.
The other half of having cancer
I have touched upon this before but the other half of having cancer, or any ailment, is the impact on the patient's partner or spouse. Somehow that gets skipped. The spouse sometimes becomes the silent partner without support in a cancer journey.
I know dozens of people with cancer and other ailments - either in person or online - and each handle it differently.
Since we got married eight years ago, I have had five surgeries, numerous procedures, and other medical adventures and been diagnosed with breast cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, and fibromyalgia as well as degenerating disks, gall stones, and I can't remember everything else.
My husband comes with me on all important doctor appointments - he is allowed to see everything but a pelvic exam and the scale when it shows my weight. (The first has never been an issue and the second he is always told to turn away or close his eyes and the nurses write it down without saying a thing.)
I wanted him at the 'bad' appointments because I wanted support from him and also felt that he should be involved as they were going to have a lot of impact on our lives so he should be able to hear whats going on and ask his own questions.
Even now that my doctor appointments are not dealing with cancer treatment, I still call him immediately after every one to share any news about my health.
When he had his own cancer issues a few years ago, I went with him on all his appointments to hear what the doctor has to say and make sure his questions got answered. I needed to be involved so I could support him as best I could.
But then I have friends who go to all their cancer appointments by themselves and chose not to involve any family members in their treatment. I have friends who drove themselves to all their chemo infusions. I always needed a nap after mine and wasn't sure I could drive myself home.
I know there is a line between sucking up all their time and no one wants to go to as many doctor appointments as I have (a minimum of 50/year - really) but sometimes I think you need the support.
Studies have shown that husbands feel isolated when their wives have breast cancer - they don't get the support they need. A cancer diagnosis is not a one person adventure, it involves the patients family as well.
Doctors are happy to include spouses in medical discussions. I think a spouse who is involved will feel less isolation as they become part of the cancer journey as opposed to a bystander.
I know dozens of people with cancer and other ailments - either in person or online - and each handle it differently.
Since we got married eight years ago, I have had five surgeries, numerous procedures, and other medical adventures and been diagnosed with breast cancer, rheumatoid arthritis, and fibromyalgia as well as degenerating disks, gall stones, and I can't remember everything else.
My husband comes with me on all important doctor appointments - he is allowed to see everything but a pelvic exam and the scale when it shows my weight. (The first has never been an issue and the second he is always told to turn away or close his eyes and the nurses write it down without saying a thing.)
I wanted him at the 'bad' appointments because I wanted support from him and also felt that he should be involved as they were going to have a lot of impact on our lives so he should be able to hear whats going on and ask his own questions.
Even now that my doctor appointments are not dealing with cancer treatment, I still call him immediately after every one to share any news about my health.
When he had his own cancer issues a few years ago, I went with him on all his appointments to hear what the doctor has to say and make sure his questions got answered. I needed to be involved so I could support him as best I could.
But then I have friends who go to all their cancer appointments by themselves and chose not to involve any family members in their treatment. I have friends who drove themselves to all their chemo infusions. I always needed a nap after mine and wasn't sure I could drive myself home.
I know there is a line between sucking up all their time and no one wants to go to as many doctor appointments as I have (a minimum of 50/year - really) but sometimes I think you need the support.
Studies have shown that husbands feel isolated when their wives have breast cancer - they don't get the support they need. A cancer diagnosis is not a one person adventure, it involves the patients family as well.
Doctors are happy to include spouses in medical discussions. I think a spouse who is involved will feel less isolation as they become part of the cancer journey as opposed to a bystander.
What if Chemo came the last resort instead of the first wave of treatment?
That would be awesome. Right now most cancers are automatically treated with chemo, radiation and surgery. But with the development of individualized treatment and molecular medications, chemotherapy may be going the way of the past.
This is a huge advance in cancer treatment and looks like it is not so far fetched. When I first saw this article I was very surprised but glad to see it.
It had never occurred to me that cancer could be treated with out chemotherapy. In my mind I was leaning towards chemo regimens that were not as harsh on the patient than in the past.
So optimism reigns in cancer land these days.
By the way yesterday's procedure went pretty well, some pain as a result but that should go away in a day or two. I'm taking it easy today and back to work tomorrow.
This is a huge advance in cancer treatment and looks like it is not so far fetched. When I first saw this article I was very surprised but glad to see it.
It had never occurred to me that cancer could be treated with out chemotherapy. In my mind I was leaning towards chemo regimens that were not as harsh on the patient than in the past.
So optimism reigns in cancer land these days.
By the way yesterday's procedure went pretty well, some pain as a result but that should go away in a day or two. I'm taking it easy today and back to work tomorrow.
Am I supposed to be stressed?
I am really not stressed about my big needle adventure this morning. Am I supposed to be? I am very much looking forward to pain relief. I hate/dislike needles themselves.
But I have been through this procedure three times already so I know what is expected. I have had probably six or seven other back injections as well. The last time I was there, the nurses all thought they knew me.
Well I will enjoy not being stressed. I am hungry of course but will have to wait to eat - no solid food after midnight. And I could use some water - no liquids for two hours prior to arrival.
Upon my return, I will take a nap with an ice pack (and a cat who likes to snuggle). If/when I wake up, I might:
Damn, that meeting could stress me out if I'm not careful.
But I have been through this procedure three times already so I know what is expected. I have had probably six or seven other back injections as well. The last time I was there, the nurses all thought they knew me.
Well I will enjoy not being stressed. I am hungry of course but will have to wait to eat - no solid food after midnight. And I could use some water - no liquids for two hours prior to arrival.
Upon my return, I will take a nap with an ice pack (and a cat who likes to snuggle). If/when I wake up, I might:
- fold some laundry.
- convince my husband its his turn to make dinner
- prepare for a meeting I am having here tomorrow (which means I need to tidy the dining room).
- And possibly go to the bookstore with my husband.
Damn, that meeting could stress me out if I'm not careful.
Its Day 1
I am so excited! I am so looking forward to having needles stuck in my spine - you wouldn't believe!
This is what the procedure will be like. No beverages or food after midnight, clear liquids till two hours before arrival. We arrive at 815 am, check in, change in to the LOVELY gown (ugly so no one steals them), vitals checked, and IV started.
Eventually I will end up in the procedure room where I will lie on my stomach, they will crank up the IV and I will mostly be asleep. They will stick me six times in the spine with some kind of local anesthetic. Then they will stick in six heated needles in the same place (between the vertebrae) that will kill off the nerves (good bye evil nerves). I will wake up and have some local pain - an ice pack usually does nicely.
I will nap for a while to recover from the anesthesia and convince my husband to cook dinner. I may need pain pills and ice but it should be okay. After a day or two the area where they stuck all the needles will stop hurting locally. More importantly by Thursday am my overwhelming back pain should be 80-90% relieved. That is why I am so excited.
I hate needles, IVs, things that might cause a 'pinch' and all sorts of fun procedures. But this is one which will immediately improve my life. One day, one hour, and 11 minutes til we check in. I can't wait.
However this isn't to say, the nerves won't grow back and I'll have to go through this again.
This is what the procedure will be like. No beverages or food after midnight, clear liquids till two hours before arrival. We arrive at 815 am, check in, change in to the LOVELY gown (ugly so no one steals them), vitals checked, and IV started.
Eventually I will end up in the procedure room where I will lie on my stomach, they will crank up the IV and I will mostly be asleep. They will stick me six times in the spine with some kind of local anesthetic. Then they will stick in six heated needles in the same place (between the vertebrae) that will kill off the nerves (good bye evil nerves). I will wake up and have some local pain - an ice pack usually does nicely.
I will nap for a while to recover from the anesthesia and convince my husband to cook dinner. I may need pain pills and ice but it should be okay. After a day or two the area where they stuck all the needles will stop hurting locally. More importantly by Thursday am my overwhelming back pain should be 80-90% relieved. That is why I am so excited.
I hate needles, IVs, things that might cause a 'pinch' and all sorts of fun procedures. But this is one which will immediately improve my life. One day, one hour, and 11 minutes til we check in. I can't wait.
However this isn't to say, the nerves won't grow back and I'll have to go through this again.
Basic screening tests take on a new meaning after cancer
Most people, by this I mean people who have never had cancer, go to the doctor for check ups and get sent for tests and don't think twice. They get nice negative results sent to them in the mail and they don't think twice about it.
Throw in a few cancer diagnoses, and any screening test takes an ominous turn. Of course any screening test will show that you are doomed. There is no way you will ever get a clean result again. One test will lead to another which will lead to another which will lead to another and then surgery, chemo, and more and more and more.
Or so the little voices in your head tell you.
It is perfectly acceptable to have little voices in your head after cancer.
Its when they take over all rational thought that you really are screwed. This is why we have psychiatrists, psychologists, and anti-depressants to keep us sane.
However our screening tests still can drive us crazy.
Throw in a few cancer diagnoses, and any screening test takes an ominous turn. Of course any screening test will show that you are doomed. There is no way you will ever get a clean result again. One test will lead to another which will lead to another which will lead to another and then surgery, chemo, and more and more and more.
Or so the little voices in your head tell you.
It is perfectly acceptable to have little voices in your head after cancer.
Its when they take over all rational thought that you really are screwed. This is why we have psychiatrists, psychologists, and anti-depressants to keep us sane.
However our screening tests still can drive us crazy.
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